If I knew then what I know now.....

....I might not have thought those things.
I would not have been so judgmental.
I mostly kept my thoughts to myself, but often I shared them with close friends. I cringe at the thought have how I might have offended someone. But now it is going to be out there. Out for all the blogging world to see.

Are you ready for this?

I judged other moms.

That is, until I became one.

I remember that girl back in the day who thought she knew a lot about children. I was fresh out of school with an education that taught me much about children, birth to age 12. And I sat in my classroom, getting lots of experience with families, thinking that I knew what was best for kids. Now (here comes the prideful side) I did know a lot. In a perfect world, my ideas were good and I did have the best interests of my students and friends in mind....but clearly this world is not perfect.

So, in light of this shameful recognition of my wrong thinking, I have made a list of a few things that have evolved in my view point over the last 3 1/2 years:

1. "Messy kids= a mom that needs to get it together." I hope I do not offend my sister-in-law in the writing of this. She is an amazing mom and I have modeled many of the things I do after her parenting style. But I clearly remember a time back when I would babysit and I wondered why her son's crib smelled like baby spit up and that often their little baby faces needed a good wiping. As I am wiping two snotty noses and wondering when the last time I changed a sheet in my boy's bedroom, I am realizing that life with kids is messy. That's just the way it is. Any mom who tries to make you think that her world is clean and perfectly snot free is hiding something. Be suspicious!

2. "Beds should not be shared with your children." Guess what? Children end up in your bed no matter how firm you make your rules. I also remember an experience where I was babysitting overnight at our brother-in-law's house. We spent most of the night with a toddler in our bed. When we woke up with cricks in our neck and bags under our eyes from lack of sleep, I made a firm stand that my children would never sleep in my bed. That was the place of intimate husband/wife relationships and should not be the place to battle out a night of sleep with a child. While we never became too frequent with bed sharing, I still understand those nights when sleep seems to precious to spend hours rocking a baby in the nursery. Just this one time often becomes many times, until you decide to be firm and have a few nights of sleeping boot camp. I also apologize with my lack grace in this area.

3. "Toys should not overtake the living room." I can't even write that one with out cracking up out loud. How cute were those little baskets of toddler toys. I used to think that that's all you needed and then the rest of the toys would stay in the child's room. Clearly I was wrong, since I can't currently walk through my kitchen with out tripping over a matchbox car or a book or a sippee cup or a dress up item or what ever other junk finds it's way out of the designated place.

4. "Candy bribes are for lazy moms." Once again, so much judgment and so little experience. What the heck was I thinking? Of course, there is a time and a place, but that time and place happens more often than I realized pre-kids. As I drove home from Target in quiet yesterday as my kids sucked on their newly acquired Ring Pops, I thought about how that candy bribe bought me so much good behavior on that shopping trip. And the added bonus of a quiet kids eating their treat makes it even sweeter. Bring on the lollipops and m&ms for this mom. There is no turning back now!

5. "I will not be short-order cook in my house." Ok, so this one I have stuck to. Mostly. But there are some days where I just do not want to have the fight at meal time and so it is lunch a la carte. Pick what you want kids. Fill up your plate, so that you will sleep well at nap and mommy can get an hour of quiet time.

So, I hope that I can be forgiven for my wrong thinking and potentially hurtful judgments. I know some amazing moms, especially the ones in my family, and I am proud to follow their lead. And each family has to find their own rhythm and stick with it. No family is perfect, no mommy is perfect, no child is perfect....but by the Grace of God we are able to raise children that love Jesus and love each other. That's all we can hope and pray for in this crazy world of parenting.

nap time here....whew!