Guest Blogger: Nicole Unice

So, remember when I got to be guest post on a friend's blog? crazy, right? Well, the Gaskill Rascals are excited to welcome that friend, Nicole Unice, to be our guest post for today.
We feel honored to be a part of her blog tour!
If you have not had the chance to meet Nicole, then you are missing out. I introduced her a few weeks ago here. She has recently published a Study of Jonah called The Divine Pursuit. You need to check it out. Like right now. (btw: 100% of the proceeds from the study support International Justice Mission. very cool)

So, here comes the good stuff......

Becoming a counselor is a weird sort of schooling. What other graduate program teaches you how to listen, ask good questions, and read interpersonal dynamics? Who but future counselors study nonverbal cues, birth order, and “solution-focused questions?” Counseling techniques easily transform into entertaining party tricks: “Let me guess,” I imagine saying to my unsuspecting acquaintance while swirling my drink, “your deepest fear is turning into your mother, whom you find yourself resembling more each day?”

There’s another side to studying therapist techniques. Developing questions that pry back even the hardest shell takes practice. And there’s only one person that accompanies me to sleep, to the bathroom, to work—other than my toddler. It’s me. I am the unwilling recipient of my own therapy.

So I paid attention when I got all emotional about the story of Jonah. Do you know him? The bible Jonah, the telling-God-N-O Jonah, the swallowed-by-a-fish Jonah? Think way back to Vacation Bible School. You probably sang a song about him or maybe smoothed him up on a feltboard next to a smiling whale.

Jonah disobeys and isn’t loving, or at least, that’s the point when we tell the VBS version. But when I prepared a teaching series for a women’s group on the book of Jonah, I found myself stirred up, almost resentful, of what Jonah had become in those children’s stories. Like Jonah is a flat caricature painted by a heavenly hand to make us feel good about ourselves. Hey, at least I didn’t have to be swallowed by a big fish to listen to God. At least I wouldn’t defy God like that.

I got emotional because I thought Jonah could have had some reasons for running. That maybe following God’s orders and going to Nineveh was something excruciatingly hard for Jonah, something that felt impossible to do.

And then the therapist in me listened closely and asked a piercing question: “Hmmm….interesting. What are your Ninevehs?”

Hmmm is right.

I pondered my own Ninevehs and the Ninevehs of those I’ve counseled. I thought about the pattern of fleeing, obeying and resisting God found in Jonah—and found in me. I considered the things in life that would make me want to lob a fat N-O in God’s face, modern-Day Ninevehs like:

Living joyfully in difficult relationships.

Struggling through a hard marriage (or waiting on a good one).

Fighting with addictions.

Battling fear.

Making peace with the past. Wrestling with unforgiveness. Learning to wait. Embracing uncertainity. Raising difficult children. Choosing to care for aging parents. Going back to work when you want to stay home. Having children. Not having children. And the list goes on….

Holy Spirit calling: Jonah is me.

Jonah is you, too, if you’ve ever wanted space from God. If you’ve ever escaped from Him in heart or in action. Jonah is you if you’ve ever wondered how or why God would talk to you—and if you would obey. I know one thing: Jonah’s not a platitude to mount on a cross-stitch and hang in the bathroom. It’s raw, real life. It’s one of the many things I love about God--the way He enters our disheveled reality. The way He knows our crazy souls. And the way He shows us His soul for us, and for all his creation.

If you can relate, take heart, and take another look at Jonah. You might just find a friend.

Nicole Unice is a counselor and blogger working in family ministry at Hope Church in Richmond, VA. Her six-week guided study of Jonah, The Divine Pursuit, is available as a printed version on her website. An online community using The Divine Pursuit begins 9/15.

My new digits

I got a new phone number a few weeks ago.  Finally I am committing to Virginia as my home and said good bye to my 404 friend.  We had a good run, that number and me.  We were never as close as that amazing college number.  Seriously, you won't believe what is was, but I will give you a few hints. 
I had a number that was the same 6 numbers plus one other number.  As in, ###-##&#. 
I often think I was invited to do fun stuff only because my friends remembered my digits. 
Who should we call?
Well, there's always Anne, because I DO remember her number.

The reason I am sharing this bit of information is to tell you how surprised I am at the short break my Atlanta cell phone number took.  Someone has already been assigned my exact number.  And would you believe that his name is Daniel.  What are the chances?  Poor guy.  I wonder if he has gotten any interesting calls from long lost friends who are very confused at the time line of my child's birth when they hear a manly voice on the message saying, "you've reached Daniel. leave a message"  No, folks. My child does not have a phone and I will keep it that way until sport's practices and driving require the safety of a cell phone.
He's not even in Kindergarten yet, so we have some time.
(wiping tear away as I think about my baby growing up)

At least this Daniel fellow won't get calls from bill collectors like we did with our VA home number.  After about 50 of those, I was tempted to start asking random women if they were named Erin Blevens, and if so, would you please go pay your bill.  Debt free is a good life goal, Erin.  Don't let your slip-up be our dinnertime interruption. 
 
And friends, if you happen to chat with this new Daniel,  please be kind!
We chatted a few days ago and he seems like a nice guy.

updated with evidence: Covered, Diced, and Capped

Danny asked for me to make breakfast for dinner the other day. I decided I could do better than breakfast at our house. Time for the boys to try lunch at the waffle house!
We had my favorite cheese eggs with grits(and raisin toast, of course) plus a waffle and an order of hash browns. Danny was pretty impressed at how fast our food came out. And they both were wishing I had ordered more food than that. Both boys seemed surprised that their mommy had once worked at this kind of restaurant.

(Here's a photo if you didn't believe me!  My summer trip with Campus Outreach.  I have some stories to tell.)
The best part was when I stuck a quarter in the jukebox and found a Hank Williams Jr song called Family Traditions. Our waitress started humming the tune and Danny yelled out for the whole store to hear "Mommy, we love this song!"
Maybe I need to think more about my music choices in the car?
nah...he has good tastes.
And he fits right in at the waffle house!

Like nana, like grandson

Even though I was the photographer for both incidents, we didn't discover this until we got home. 

Apparently, both Danny and his Nana have a thing for sticking their heads into the lion's mouth. 

Great party, Danny, thanks for turning 4!

More to come later on the birthday party, but first up is a photo of Danny's birthday cake.  Thanks to our sweet friend Marci and the help of her cake assistant family we had an awesome awesome cake. 
Might be the best kid birthday party cake ever. 
And that is not an exaggeration.
Danny's putt-putt party was made even more special by the fully interactive cake.  Seriously....it had a hole where you could drop the ball in and it would come out at the bottom.  Bet you haven't seen that lately?
And most of all, it is special when someone who you love has a big part in your special day.  It is just like our wedding cake done by Scott's childhood "second" mom Gail.  When a cake is more than just a food at the party, but also a labor of love and a huge centerpiece for your special day....well, that just makes it complete. 

Not trying to compare wedding cake to 4 year old birthday cake, but both tasted delicious and were made by special friends. 
Here is a photo(even better in person!)

I mean, really, have you ever seen anything like it?

Why is my kid smarter than me?

We have a new Kroger down the street from us.  It's shiny and new and full of free goodies today for the grand opening.  They gave us cake and a cart for my boys to push around the store.  It was a wonderful experience.
Until the end.
When they broke our van.

You see, we have this new-to-us van that has changed my life.  Automatic doors and endless space.  I love it.

They didn't mean to break it.  I guess I should have told the kind gentleman and lady carrying out my ton of groceries that I WILL CLOSE THE TRUNK.  No, you do not need slam all your body weight on my trunk door in an effort to close it for me.  There is a button for that.  I got it.

I also have got the bill coming my way.
Rumor has it that it will cost us about $400+ to fix it broken doors that will not stay down.  Now, ironically, I have to slam all my body weight against it to keep it down.

I went back to the store with a sleeping child in my arms and another sleepy child carrying a bowl of cherries.  I explained my situation to a manager.
Apparently, she thinks it is my fault for not telling the bag carrier.
Seriously?  My fault?

Through my tears I tried to explain to Danny that we are not going to be shopping there again. It is too painful to shop there and remember this.  All I wanted was a little sympathy.  I get that you can't be liable for it and you can't pay for it.  I guess that makes sense.
But then my little man starts to get sad about the thought of not going to this shiny new store again.
What about those kid size carts?  What about the cake mommy?

Then he says something profound.
"Mommy, we need to get someone to apologize to you, so that you can say 'it's ok!'"

Son, mommy isn't ready to say that yet.  I am still grieving the pain to our budget as we have to pay to fix something SOMEONE ELSE broke.
I need to forgive.
At least that's what Danny thinks.
And he is right.


update: as of 8pm this evening, the van is fixed.  thank you to all who prayed.  And the best part.....it was free.  Scott just reset all the locks and it started working again!

Your biggest fan....

....can be your child.

I am sure there will be a time in our kid's lives when we no longer fill the top spot in their world, but for now we are as cool as a polar bear toenails.

Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? Why do we look at sports icons, actors, celebrities that are famous for who-knows-what as the people we follow? Those aren't really my heroes. My heroes are the moms that I spend time with who show me how to be a better one and juggle all their other life desires. My heroes are the dads that work hard to support their families while living up to all the expectations of a great dad. I want to start a fan club for the person who does the same things everyday as me and who loves the Lord in the process. In other words show me someone who is living my kind of life well, so that I can follow them. I want to be president of their fan club.

It is right that we are our kid's heroes. We are the people they look up too. My biggest prayer is that I can always be someone they can trust, someone they can follow, someone that they think is thebomb.com.

I made hash browns for breakfast this weekend and Danny exclaimed upon eating the first bite that I make the best hash browns in the world. They were pretty tasty. Yeah, kid, I am that cool.

But the best example I have seen lately of a "parent fan club" was at a friend's house for a recent cookout and play time. The boys were playing together inside when our friend decided it was time to take the meat out to the grill. One of his boys turned to our son and exclaimed "HEY, want to go outside and watch my dad grill. He is the best griller EVER!"

Do you have a fan club for your everyday activities? Who are your heroes?

Something new in our life....

I really like doing titles that will make some of my readers think we are announcing a little bundle of joy. 
It cracks me up how my generation goes there so quickly.  While we would love to have another rascal, now is definitely not the time. 
An example of how quickly we go there? 
So, at church this week I talked to more people than average due to the fact that my new part time job was announced in both services.  I got to stand up front while our pastor said some kind words about myself and the sweet friend sharing this job with me.  We are thrilled to be starting our jobs as children's ministry coordinators.  My friend will handle the Sunday morning routine and all that happens in our terrific 2nd- 5th grade program.  My part is more about communication and furthering of the "family ministry" perspective.  It is all about equipping parents to reach their children with the truth and for them to know how much God loves them.  I am so excited to take on this new role as Coordinator of Family Ministry and I was really touched with the encouragement I received from people after they heard the news.
I was standing with a friend when another lady come up and said congratulations to me.  She turned and said "For what?"  I knew she already knew about the job, so this was old news for her and it didn't click right away what we were talking about.  After I responded with something about my new role, she said "Oh, I thought maybe you were expecting or something."
Seriously, why do we always go there?
I know that having a child would be the most wonderful news and worthy of many many congrats, but why do we always think that first?
Is it because we have had two kids so close together in age that it seems like we are due for another? 
Yes, we know how they get there and yes, we are attempting to keep from another one coming so close to the first two.  We need a little break.  A break from diapers and sippee cups and car seats with 3 things to click and bottom wiping and cutting up food so tiny that you wonder what it was originally.  We need to introduce school and booster seats and buckling yourself in the seat and being able to swim without floaties.

We love being parents and we are pretty content with two.  For now.

conversations with a former me...

Have you ever thought about having a conversation with yourself in another time? 

Here’s my question.  Am I going to look back at my “now” self and say “that girl knew nothing?”  Sometimes I look back at myself 5, 10, 15 years ago and I think about what I didn’t know, what I still had to learn about life.  I am thankful for growth and change and all the things that go with maturity.  I know that we are supposed to be ever changing in our choices and that life presents different challenges at each age.  I didn’t have kids 4 years ago, I didn’t have a husband 8 years ago, and I was still in high school a mere 12 years ago.  All those life steps have taken me in new directions.  And these new directions have brought tremendous growth.

But what about so many things that I used to think about life?  Silly stuff.  And the things I believed about truth and who God is? Seriously, I was often full of judgment and ignorance.  Oh, and there is that little thing about thinking the rest of the world never felt depressed, doubtful, and without hope the same as me.  That was ridiculous.  What a turning point in faith when I realized that the rest of you get insecure.  You doubt your faith.  You sometimes wonder what life is all about.  And through it, God is faithful and He is unchanging. 

This thought process leads me to wonder about looking back 10 years from now.  Will I continue to change as much?  Will I look at myself, the “now” me, but in 10 years and wonder “what was up with her?”  Did she seriously tell people that?  Did she really think that was the way it works?

Ok, this is the point where my husband says that I think too much.  I often wonder about weird things like this so much that the only way to get it out of my head is to write it down, talk about it, chew on it for days. 

Does this mean I am crazy? 

Of course.  Was there any doubt? 

That is another thing, like God's faithfulness, that hasn’t changed in the past 30 years. 

At least there are some things we can hold true and consistent.

I'm not bored

A quick reminder to head over an read my guest post from yesterday on thestubbornservant blog.  Looks like a comment on one of the mothering posts from the week might bring you a chance to win a book?  I never pass up a chance for free stuff!

So, we are in the car yesterday and Danny is telling me about all the drivers and passengers he sees in the cars around us.  He is a big fan of the word passenger and likes to use it on any occasion possible.  He was telling me that the man he saw must be going to pick up his kids from soccer practice or art camp or something so that he could have a passenger.  I told him that it was possible, but it also could be true that this man was not a daddy.
It's a shocker, I know.
Not all men are daddies.
Then Danny proceeds to tell me that "They must be bored."
That's about right, kid.
Before you, my life was boring sometimes.
Now?  Not boring.

Here is a "not boring" moment inspecting a frog in our yard.